Easier to Run
by sw3ll
Summary: COMPLETE. What would you have done if he got you upset? What would HE have done? HarryDraco slash. song fic by Linkin Park, Easier to Run


Disclaimer: I don't own them. But I can say I did though. I mean, how would you EVER find me?

It's easier to run 

Harry sat on the Gryffindor table trying his hardest to comprehend his surroundings. Ron and Hermione were once again fighting like a married couple. 'Or soon to be.' He smiled to himself as he looked at his two best friends, eyeing the engagement ring on their fingers.

"No Ron, I **refuse **that you invite Malfoy. Harry's boyfriend or not, I still hate him." she said nose up in the air.

"Hermione, he apologized already. And whose harry going to go with? Besides, you invited practically everyone. That's kind of rude don't you think?" he answered back. Hermione sighed, a long hard sigh.

"Fine. But only because I love Harry."

After that conversation, they began to snuggle each other and Harry was, to say the least, nauseous. 'Ewww' he thought, looking away and seeing what everyone else was doing.

Seamus was practicing another spell… and failing miserably, Dean was sitting with Ginny and her friends, Neville was eating and Draco was coming.

Seeing the blond coming over, Harry instantly brightened.

"Harry, we need to talk. Alone." He said, somewhat sadly.

At Draco's words, Ron's head shot up and Hermione scowled.

"Wait! Harry mate. I… uhh… I need help on transfiguration… NOW!" he said quickly.

Harry's eyebrows only went up.

"Ask Hermione." He answered back as quickly and turned to his lover.

When they got outside, Harry moved to give Draco a kiss, but was stopped by Draco's head moving back.

"What's wro-"? Draco cut him off.

"Harry, we're done. My father wants me to take the mark and I cant defy him. I wouldn't if I could. But I cant."

Harry couldn't hear past the words 'Harry, we're done.'

"Draco? I don't understand"

_You don't have to understand_

"I thought we had something special."

_We **had** something special but now its over_

"So that's it then?"

_Yes it is!_

"After all that?"

_Seems to be._

"Draco. I have to go now."

_Harry, it's easier to run._

_**It's easier to run**_

_**Replacing this pain with something numb**_

**It's so much easier to go **

_**Than face all this pain here all alone**_

Harry was on the same bridge that he and Remus had conversations four years ago. He looked at the stream below, wondering how much of the tears that he had cried were in there, mixing with the water. 'There goes another one.' He noted as one more tear slid down his cheek.

He hurt so badly, like something was literally taken from deep inside of him, going beyond the guts and the blood, to the soul. Now, he ignored counting the tears that fell as he reached up to his forehead ran over the area where his scar was. He then moved to his arms and traced along the lines on it. After, he traced the scars on his leg, stomach and the places on his back where he could reach. Finally, he stopped over his chest, his heart, and caressed the spot.

'And another fatal wound added to my collection.'

Only this time it hurt. It hurt more than Voldemort's crucio, it hurt more than a basilisk's bite. It was painful.

This was going to haunt him forever.

_**Something has been taken from deep inside of me**_

_**The secret I've kept locked away no one can ever see**_

_**Wounds so deep they never show they never go away**_

_**Like moving pictures in my head for years and years they've played**_

Draco ran where he thought Harry would have gone off to. He tried the Gryffindor common room (he knew the password because he was Harry's boyfriend). Then he tried the astronomy tower where he knew Harry spent most of his time in. he tried every obvious place, the lake, the infirmary, the quidditch field even the dungeons. All off which proved helpless. He searched the grounds anyway until he knew that he was lost. But he didn't care. The only thing that went through his head was 'Harry where are you.'

He walked around aimlessly until he was sure he was lost. At first he was certain he would find a way back, but then the woods got scarier, thicker. **Then **he panicked. He turned back the opposite direction. At least, he thought that was the opposite.

He took a look around him and saw the castle's silhouette against the dark sky. Draco then headed to the direction where it might have been in., as he got closer, he came upon a bridge. Rackety and dangerous looking, but when he stepped on it, it was actually kind of sturdy.

When he walked down, he bumped into something, something he couldn't see. He began to panic, knowing the many hazardous creatures that lurk around. "Wh-who's there?" he called out, afraid.

No response came and he got up, albeit reluctantly. As he got up, he once again bumped into something.

"WHO'S there?" he called out angrily this time.

At first, it was just a floating head, and then it half of Harry's body. The other boy took his invisibility cloak off completely and resumed avoiding Draco's apologetic eyes.

"Harry, I'm so sorry." He pleaded.

"You're forgiven _Malfoy_. Now go back to your little death eater friends before they report you to your 'lord.'" Harry replied, voice devoid of emotion.

"Harry, listen to me. If I weren't a Malfoy I would have happily declined. If I weren't a Malfoy I would have. Died if I weren't-"

"If you weren't a Malfoy you would never have to fight me alongside that 'dark lord' bastard." He stated, cutting Draco off.

"I wouldn't be a Malfoy if I had a choice, Harry. If I could go back to the very first time we met, I would have stopped myself from saying those words that caused us to be enemies. Then, Harry, we would have been friends and I would have taken a lot off your shoulders. I'd kill for you."

Harry watched Draco with no emotion. At normal times, he would have melted as those words were said to him, but right now he was hateful.

"You, killing for me and killing me for you is one different thing… MALFOY."

_**(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)**_

_**(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)**_

_**(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)**_

_**(If I could take all the shame to the grave I would)**_

_**(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)**_

_**(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)**_

_**(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)**_

_**(I would take all my shame to the grave)**_

Harry watched as pain reflected in Draco's eyes. He wanted so badly to hug the boy, to comfort him. But if he didn't to leave Draco with a tear, or vice versa, then they would have to be bitter with each other.

"Harry, you know I love you. I told you so many times."

"YES! You also told me you wouldn't be a death eater, 'so many times'."

"I said I wasn't sure."

"Then how can you be so sure that you love me?" he said, practically screaming, while he stepped on the railing on the bridge.

"If you need proof Harry the you need help."

"I suppose I do." He whispered, his angry voice now becoming calm and longing as he looked at the stream below.

"Harry," Draco, asked, cautious. "What are you doing?"

The scowl that had adorned Harry's face now looked calm and peaceful as both his feet were on the railing. "I don't want to leave crying, love."

"Okay? But what are you doing?"

"Dray, sometimes it's easier to run."

_**It's easier to run**_

_**Replacing this pain with something numb**_

_**It's so much easier to go**_

_**Than face all this pain here all alone**_

Oh no! It was happening all over again. He wondered why everyone thought Harry had it in bad with losing everyone he loved. Of course no one knew if he lost anyone, or if he loved anyone else besides Harry. But yes, he did.

He watched his ex-boyfriend teetering on the ledge, hesitating a bit and his heart broke. Everything's happening all over again.

At first it was his older sister, then it was his first muggle best friend. His sister did it because she, like him, did not want to receive the dark mark and his muggle best friend just had too many problems, and suicide was his only way out, he supposed.

"Harry? What about leaving me crying?" he pleaded, almost desperate.

That seemed to have done it because Harry looked down, then back up and getting back down.

"You know what? I knew this day would come. I just knew it. I wanted to break it off with you sooner, causing no heartache and we both wouldn't know what we let pass by. And then I thought, if we ignored the facts that they lay out in front of us, and you know, stay in each other's arms, then I figured 'then maybe we could stay there forever.'"

Tears subconsciously rolled down Harry's cheeks and Draco wiped them off.

"If you broke it off with me, then we probably wouldn't be having this conversation right now." He said lovingly.

"What's so bad about that?"

_**Sometimes I remember the darkness of my past**_

_**Bringing back these memories I wish I didn't have**_

_**Sometimes I think of letting go and never looking back**_

_**And never moving forward so there'd never be a past**_

Harry felt warm water soak into his shirt and he realized that Draco had been crying. He held the tears back. He refused to break down at the situation. If Draco wouldn't be strong then he would.

"See you later… _Malfoy._" Harry said bitterly and lightly pushed Draco off.

The darker haired boy heard a sob coming from the other.

"Harry. I…love… you."

He didn't believe it. He wanted to believe it, but he couldn't. That would mean that he was submitting to pain, letting himself lie vulnerable.

"I used to love you too Malfoy… let me go before we hurt each other more."

No one could have known how much it upset him to say that.

"NO HARRY! We used to hate each other… used to." Draco whispered the last part.

"MALFOY," he spat. "If you don't let me go now. _I'm _going to start and hate you again." Harry paused to glare, or at least pretend to glare, at the blond. "You hurt me so much in the past. When we started dating, it eased a bit, now… now… I don't know what's happening now Draco, but I know it hurts." He sobbed.

"If I could change the past, I would. Undo all the damage I did to you, I would. Take away all the pain I would. Harry, that's how much I love you."

"That's how much you _loved _me."

_**(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)**_

_**(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)**_

_**(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)**_

_**(If I could take all the shame to the grave I would)**_

_**(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)**_

_**(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)**_

_**(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)**_

_**(I would take all my shame to the grave)**_

Harry wanted to say sorry, apologized, but he couldn't.

"Draco, you know how much it hurts me to pretend like I don't care. We cant, I cant even dream of us being together after the war."

And it was true. The chance of them living the happily ever after all knights and princesses undergo was slim.

And then, he thought about it again. All those nights Draco promised he would stick by him, risk everything just for him and today, what with the 'Harry, we're done.' He was enraged once more.

That's what he said to himself anyway. Fooling him from the sorrow of this whole ordeal. And he was almost duped to believe himself, and perhaps, it was simpler for them both to let go.

Maybe.

_**Just washing it aside**_

_**All of the helplessness inside**_

_**Pretending I don't feel misplaced**_

_**It's so much simpler than change**_

Harry stepped on the handrail over again and this time, he was sure of himself.

He looked back on the memories they had, all the chaste kisses and anonymous glances. All gone.

"Just go away Draco and forget me. It's easier to run."

_**It's easier to run**_

_**Replacing this pain with something numb**_

_**It's so much easier to go**_

_**Than face all this pain here all alone**_

The words sunk into him. Harry was possibly right. Maybe he should just go. 

_**It's easier to run**_

"Harry, you don't have to this. I should be the one in your place right now." He tried to convince, tried to save the Golden Boy's life.

_**(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)**_

_**(Retrace every wrong move that I made)**_

Or maybe, they can sort things out, talk about things.

Draco looked at Harry's weeping form.

No, it _was _easier to run.

_**It's easier to go**_

"Harry NO! I wont let you do this." He shouted as he grabbed Harry by the waist. "Let me try and take the pain away." he begged, trying to hug him. But Harry refused him and shoved Draco off of himself.

_**(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)**_

_**(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)**_

"Harry… I'm sorry I ruined your life."

Draco pushed Harry from the guardrails, and wouldn't let him through.

Harry watched it all, wondering all the while what Draco was doing. His answers were confirmed though as the slytherin resumed the position the other was in earlier. "I feel so ashamed Harry." He wept.

"I would have stood up and apologized earlier, but I wouldn't be the one taking the blame, you'd just set me free from it."

"Then what are you doing now?" he asked warily.

Draco looked down, just like Harry had done whilst talking to him previously.

"I'm taking all my shame…" and he jumped off before he finished.

_**(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)**_

"To the grave."

_**(I would take all my shame to the grave)**_


End file.
